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Stay Pregnant, Females!

- - - - - birth control contraception HRCC Humanae vitae

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#1
Cousin Ricky

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(Footwear and culinary venues optional.)

I just noticed a copy of the diocesan magazine, the Catholic Islander, on the couch. It has a portrait of Pope Paul VI on the cover, with the caption “50th Anniversary of Humanae Vitae.” I thought to myself, has it been 50 years? OMFSM, it’s already 2018!

What is Humanae vitae? It’s the document declaring the HRCC’s brand new rule banning contraception, and that this brand spanking new rule has been in effect since Jesus’ last discourse to the apostles. Or maybe since Onan; it’s been a while since I read it. (Remember, the HRCC never changes; and as lay Catholics are not stupid, every change is necessarily accompanied by an explication of why the change isn’t really a change. [The neutrality of this section is disputed.])

The gist of the document is the God-mandated purpose of marriage, which is, of course, to outbreed those damn Protestants. The only exception to this rule is if the blissfully married couple eschews sex :roll:, hence, the allowance of the rhythm method natural family planning[1]. The invention of the birth control pill apparently necessitated a clarification to deal with the new technology.

I read this document ca. the late 1980s. Or at least, I tried to. It was denser than a Hemingway novel and as lucid as a Duane Gish debate. The ban on contraceptives was one of two Catholic laws I disagreed with (the other was the requirement that priests have a dick), and this document did nothing to change my mind.

 [1] What do you call a couple who relies on natural family planning?

Spoiler


  • Ungodly and Aging Disgracefully like this
“Facts seem to roll off a Christian like water off a duck.” —Great Ape

“How much can you actually doubt something and still maintain that you believe it?” —Josh K, “Alpha and Omega”

“You don’t understand. My crisis of faith is over.

#2
Joe Bloe

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I feel sorry for the parishioners who think they really do have obey those idiotic orders.


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Believe nothing you hear and only half what you see.

#3
Cousin Ricky

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I feel sorry for the parishioners who think they really do have obey those idiotic orders.

 

Last I read, 98% of American Catholics don’t. (I used to say that the remaining 2% were devotees of Bill Donohue, but recently I’ve concluded that Donohue only has a small fraction of those.)


“Facts seem to roll off a Christian like water off a duck.” —Great Ape

“How much can you actually doubt something and still maintain that you believe it?” —Josh K, “Alpha and Omega”

“You don’t understand. My crisis of faith is over.

#4
Joe Bloe

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Last I read, 98% of American Catholics don’t.

 

That must be why they throw so much money into the collection bucket during church services.

It's a sort of 21st century "indulgence" designed to compensate for their sinful ways.


Believe nothing you hear and only half what you see.

#5
Ungodly

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To some extent I think they are also paying a potential child molester to tell them how holy they are, and so much better than heathens!


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