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Thanksgiving

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#1
The White Coyote

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My wifes favorite holiday has always been thanksgiving. We see nothing religious about the day at all. It is a day to gather the family together, enjoy each others company and be thankful for our health, our togetherness and our good fortune at being able to put on a feast. We do not feel the need to direct our thanks toward a sky daddy, but rather we are content and just generally thankful for the day together. There will be too much food, too much football and this year we have a special treat I'd like to share with you all.

We will celebrate thanksgiving this year at my daughters home. Nothing unusual about that but this year as a bonus we are going to be blessed with some very special guests. Along with my Daughter, son in law and the grandkids, we will have my stepson and his live in girlfriend. Those along with my wife and I are the usual gang. This year however my son-in-laws Mother from Texas will be coming up. She is a hardcore bible toting fundy, old school if you will. Just to make it interesting her daughter, whom she barely speaks to, a hard core atheist is coming up too. And bringing her two children with her. And just because the tension won't be thick enough, the atheist daughter is dragging along her Mormon boyfriend. Basically, what we have here is the makings of a great . . no . . .Grande Holiday! If we can pull this one off without a big blowup of some sort, it will indeed be a miracle. Personally I have already instructed my wife that she will be the designated driver and that I will likely be intent on watching football and laying low and getting a wee bit drunky wunky. It should be a great show. They all hate each others guts. None of them can be in the same state for more than an hour without an argument no less the same room and I will be right in the middle of this shit. My wife says she is going to stay in the kitchen the whole day.

Is it just my fucked up family or is everybodys holidays a mess like this? It seems we always have these horrible Chevy Chase type holidays that end in disaster and yet we continue doing it.

#2
FlatEarth1024

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Is it just my fucked up family or is everybodys holidays a mess like this? It seems we always have these horrible Chevy Chase type holidays that end in disaster and yet we continue doing it.


Oh no!!! You're looking at this the totally wrong way.  Don't worry about what MIGHT happen.  Just enjoy what DOES happen. 

What you have to do is stay out of it.  Just keep quiet, crack open a beer, turn on the football game and watch it unfold!  Think of the comedic and entertainment possibilities.  I just love watching family members kill each other when I'm not involved!  I always end up in the den with a sister or a cousin laughing my ass off when the same fight that has been going on since 1971 gets dredged up again.  The only time we get in trouble is when someone hears us and yells "Don't laugh you assholes!  It's not funny!!!", which of course only sets us off into more hysterics.  Then, on the ride home, the silence is broken by a tiny, traumatized voice saying "Gee...I think cousin Whoever has some anger issues", threatening to send the car into a tree as I try not to drive off the road in uncontrolled laughter!

Don't fight it.  Enjoy it!  That's the purpose of family... so that one day a year you feel a bit better about your own life!!!

#3
Seti

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We have exactly the same at Xmas - well, I don't because neither of us have any surviving relatives, so we can do as we damned well please. But all around me I hear people moaning from about mid-October about all the preparations, presents, who is going to whose house, who did it last year... There are times when I'm glad I'm an orphan.
:fi_lone_ranger:

#4
The White Coyote

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Oh you can count on me staying out of it. These people are my son in laws family, I'm just there for the eats! I guess I just have this fairytale wish that we could get thru one holiday get together without a fiasco breaking out. Another prayer unanswered.

#5
Ungodly

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Oh you can count on me staying out of it. These people are my son in laws family, I'm just there for the eats! I guess I just have this fairytale wish that we could get thru one holiday get together without a fiasco breaking out. Another prayer unanswered.


You see, you have this problem of being a really nice guy. If I were there I'd be inclined to throw a hand grenade by loudly asking one of the Jeebus-afflicted guests whether or not they think that Our Glorious Christian Leader should be impeached and tried for war crimes. A few mortar rounds like that and the football would seem lame by comparison.

But to answer your question, in my family we never see this sort of thing. My only brother is a devout evangelical Christian and so is his absolutely wonderful wife. They are admirable people because of the good things they do like taking foster children into their home, and even adopting some of them. These are not the sort of Christians that tell other people what they should do, instead they do what they think people should do.

Then there are my two sisters, one younger and one older. My older sister is a radical feminist atheist librul. We get along quite well. My younger sister is a devout Catholic and an ardent defender of the rights of gay people. Somehow she manages to remain a Catholic without ever adopting or espousing any of their anti-human bullshit. She and I have always been very close. She was the first member of the family that I came out to as a gay man, and I'll never forget what she said immediately after I told her that I am gay, "Stephen, I love you and if somebody else loves you I love them too."

I'm very lucky to have such a wonderful family, but I never get to see them on Thanksgiving. My nearest relative is my younger sister in Sacratomato, which is 500 miles away. If you think I'm going to drive 500 miles on California freeways on a holiday weekend you are completely mistaken.

Often a queer atheist friend of mine from Arizona will drive down to spend Thanksgiving with us. Or else it is just my lovely husband and I.

And I also like to give thanks on Thanksgiving, even if I'm just thanking some random arrangement of molecules that has obviously already occurred because, after all, here we are, aren't we?

#6
The White Coyote

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I have a sister that lives less than 2 miles from me. I see her maybe 3 times ayear, that's enough. My other sister lives somewhere 20 miles north of me. I don't even know her last name she's been married so many times. Last time I saw her was my stepdads funeral and I said "Hi" that was enough. I hadn't spoke to my dad who lived 15 minutes away in over 15 years when he finally flopped over. He left each of my sisters $50,000.00 and his house. I got $1, just so I could not contest the will. I have cousins but never speak to them either. Everyone else in my family is dead. I have adopted my wifes kids and have by my stepdaughter two beautiful grandkids. My own son is, well you guys know that story. But I have a family now and even though this holiday will probably turn into a total raving clusterfuck, this is my son-in-laws family and I am just a spectator. Let the fun begin! (I'll give you guys a full report after Thanksgiving)

#7
TopHat

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Canadian Thanksgiving has passed and I found it wasn't bad, for all I did was sit eat a small thing of mashed potatoes with cranberry suace. They poke fun at me and say"let him say the prayer", I refuse and eat. Than we watched Battlestar Galactica new episode.

#8
The Force

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I'm not such a nice person when it comes to evil relatives. I don't understand why people just put up with the shenanigans some of their relatives pull at holidays. My philosophy is, I'm not treating you with kid gloves just because you're Grandma, if you try to screw up an otherwise good time with your hostility and anger, I will call you out on it, and we will have a large fight, and you will be leaving until you freaking grow up.

No calls, no visits from grandkids (or nieces etc.) no cards until you can manage to be civil to your own family*.  [smilie=smack.gif]

Yeah, I'm a tough love advocate. I don't see any reason why anyone should be made to feel miserable and guilty by dysfunctional relatives; throw 'em out. If you don't get along with your family, go to the Bahamas with your kids and spouse and have a wonderful time.

*Yes, I have said some of those things to a rather moronic aunt of mine at xmas dinner 2 years ago. She was ruining everybody else's holidays. She has not spoken to my family since. Do I care? Eh, no.

Dear Abby would hate me. :mrgreen:

#9
Ungodly

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[Oh no!!! You're looking at this the totally wrong way.  Don't worry about what MIGHT happen.  Just enjoy what DOES happen. 


I reread this thread in the stillness of early morning, and as I read your message at first I thought "Wow, this is great, he is trying to be the peacemaker" but of course that is not the essence of your message at all. It seems to be more along the lines of "sit back, relax, and enjoy the show". Of course that is still peaceful, but it introduces an element of detachment which might be a very wise thing indeed for a situation that is likely to be very tense.

It's good advice.

Now, The Force offers a completely different suggestion. Directly confronting a troublemaker and letting them know that their anti-social behavior is not acceptable. I see value in this approach too.

I guess the decision to go with FlatEarth's relax and enjoy the show suggestion or The Force's idea of putting a stop to it immediately might hinge on how much you feel that you own the process. If the gathering was in my home I'd likely step in and try to stop a squabble. If I was at the home of my partner's relatives I'd do as FlatEarth suggests. I think.


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