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Why did the chicken...

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#1
Abandoned_Mind

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Lady:  The chicken song was on the other side.

Unbeliever:  In the book of Edinburgh 9:24 the chicken must cross, but in Perdue 3:88 it is forbidden to cross.

Ungodly:  To vote out the republicans.  Damn it!

Abandoned_Mind:  That

#2
Ungodly

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Very good Abandoned Mind!  I see that the creative influence of Lady is starting to spread. This is a good thing!

#3
Tyger Tamer

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The chicken crossed the road because that is the way he was facing.

George Bush
The chicken was simply staying the course.

John Kerry
It was the wrong chicken crossing the wrong road at the wrong time.

Jim McGreevey
I am a chicken-eating American, so I cannot be a governor.

Jon Corzine
Actually, we saved billions of those chickens. That's why we need more chickens.

Bill Clinton
The chicken did not have any crossing-relations with that road, the road that the chicken crossed.

Neo
There is no chicken.

Michael Moore
Was that really a chicken? Was that road really crossable? Is there something they are not telling us?

Jesus
The chicken arrived at the other side, and the farmer asked his servant if this was not the chicken that was on the other side, and the servant thus denied it, and they took the sheep to the hill and the farmer said that there will be no more cows come next winter.

#4
TopHat

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Dawkins: To call this a chicken because its parents are chickens is very discrimintory. Would you call a marxist roosters' child a markist rooster?

TopHat: The chicken crossed the road due to several combining factors of Nature and Nurture. The chicken has a gene which wants it to not cross the road, but some chickens hae passed this psycological factor and cross the road.

Jack Thompson: The chicken did not just cross the road, he stole a car! This is obviously because the chicken is imatating the video game Grand Theft Frogger.

#5
The White Coyote

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Colonel Sanders: GET HIM! GET HIM! :snork_lach:

#6
lady

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Posted Image



Very good Abandoned Mind!  I see that the creative influence of Lady is starting to spread. This is a good thing!


Oh, that was funny, Abandoned. I think this old hen just tries to cross to get her head on straight.  It is always a bit skewed. We all need more laughter. I can find all sorts of funny things on net that people are paid to write etc. But I like the silly stuff that I read from other members best. I am not humorous at all. Very shy and innocent here, but whatever I post comes straight from the heart.
Sometimes after I have clicked to post...I think oh gawd, why did I post that. Then I go on to post somethng just as stupid. Posted Image

#7
Unbeliever

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Timothy Leary: "A chicken!? Is that what it was??? Wooow, awesome! It looked like a tucan!"

#8
The Force

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Ashton Kutcher: "Dude, where's my chicken?!"

Heisenburg: "It is not possible to know both the position and velocity of the chicken crossing the road."

Einstein: "The chicken is all around. Chickens do not play dice with the universe."

Random Blind Dude: "What chicken?"

#9
Unbeliever

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Heisenburg: "It is not possible to know both the position and velocity of the chicken crossing the road."


Galileo: "E pur si muove!" (And yet it moves!)

#10
Abandoned_Mind

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G. W. Bush: In Texas we know barbeque, in other words, chicken is the other meat.

#11
Unbeliever

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Any generic fundy: "The chicken crossed the road because Gawd gave it free will!"

#12
Frozenwolf150

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You would think that any chickens stupid enough to cross the road, when there is the equivalent of a 2 ton predator barreling down on them, would have been weeded out by natural selection.

--A variation of my thoughts whenever I see a roadkilled squirrel

#13
TopHat

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INDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good of man.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

OSAMA BIN LADEN: That chicken knew nothing of its mission (ha ha ha) only that it would be a martyr.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and uccessfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

BILL CLINTON: I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.

L.A.P.D.: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

GEORGE W. BUSH: The chicken crossed the road because he was an evil-doer, and we smoked him out of his hole and got him on the run!



more chickens!

#14
Tyger Tamer

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Slayer
Fleeing chickenocide traversing the asphault field
Gasp a crimson breath as it cuts your fucking head off!

Dio
Chicken, on fire
Runs across the rainbow
Killing the dragon

Shakespeare
Thou liest! No chicken couldst execute a perilous feat.


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