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Dear Jesus ... or Santa Claus

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11 replies to this topic

#1
Unbeliever

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Mother raises questions about child's writing task at school

I wonder what would happen if one of those kids wanted to write to Satan, or maybe Nostradamus?

#2
The Force

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[quote]"You'd rather have them write a letter to someone who is not real rather than let my daughter write a letter to someone who's real?" Shepherd said. "Even if you don't believe in Jesus, you can at least admit that he was a real person who existed."[/quote]

No comment. The stupidity is too blatant.

[quote name='Unbeliever"]I wonder what would happen if one of those kids wanted to write to Satan' date=' or maybe Nostradamus?[/quote']

"Dear Satan,
How are you? I am fine. My momy says that you are a bad man, but I think you are my heero. i want a bunny for Crismas so I can scarafise sackrafise it to you and drink its blud. Then you wil give me dark powrs so i can make all the meany kids at skool pay for beeng meen too me. I wil make them pay. Hale Satan!!! yah!!!
Love, Hayley"

PS Coud you pleese give me a Maliboo Barbie doll too? i want the kind that you can cut her hair, pleese. Thank you Satan.


#3
Ungodly

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I like the part where the mother says she wants her child to write to Jeebus because"At least he is a real person that lived".  Uh huh. And we know he is real because the BuyBull tells us. And we know the BuyBull is 100% true scientific fact because the BuyBull tells us.

Do the Catholics have a patron saint of militant fags? I'd write a Seasonal Holiday Gift Man Day letter to him, if he's hot. I want pictures first, or a statue. Some kind of a graven image.

Or maybe I could write a letter to the patron saint of Atheists?

#4
The White Coyote

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One graven image to go!
ALL HAIL THE GIANT PECKER, PATRON SAINT OF . . WEE WEES!

#5
Ungodly

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Yes, and he seems interested too!

#6
Unbeliever

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Or maybe I could write a letter to the patron saint of Atheists?


I guess that'd be Robert Green Ingersoll?  :smt102

#7
Frozenwolf150

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The only way to settle this is to pit Jesus against Santa Claus in a no-holds-barred street fight.  Then the little girl can write to whichever one wins.

#8
Ungodly

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Good luck Jeebus, I hear that Santa Claus fights dirty. In one match he started with the crotch kicking in the first round.

Why he is so stingy he gives the crappy, high sulfur content bituminous coal to bad kids, and he keeps all the anthracite for himself. Santa is well known as a leading provider of harmful SO2 and CO2 emissions.

#9
Unbeliever

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Santa is well known as a leading provider of harmful SO2 and CO2 emissions.


I thought that was because of his flatulance!  :Wink:

#10
Tyger Tamer

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"You'd rather have them write a letter to someone who is not real rather than let my daughter write a letter to someone who's real?"


Would they rather it go this way?


Student: Can I write a letter to my friend Billy?

Teacher: No. The assignment is to use your imagination by writing a letter to an imaginary person.

Student: Can I write a letter to Jesus?

Teacher: No. The assignment is to use your imagination by writing a letter to an imaginary ... oh wait, yeah, you can write a letter to Jesus.

#11
The White Coyote

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Hmmmmm? So how about a little experiment. I will send a letter to Santa and ask for a new bike and I will send a letter to Jesus and ask him to regrow a limb on a veteran friend of mine.

Letter sent.

2 weeks later.
Answer from Santa; I see Ricky that you have been a good boy this year and I will try very hard to get you the present you asked for.

6 months later.
Answer from Jesus: No

#12
Unbeliever

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Well, you wouldn't get a "No" answer from Jesus, since you'd get no answer at all - which is the same as "No", I guess.


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