Jump to content

Welcome to Ain't No God
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

The Jesus Landing Pad

- - - - -

  • Please log in to reply
31 replies to this topic

#1
Unbeliever

Unbeliever

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,494 posts
  • LocationCalifornia
Bush White House checked with rapture Christians before latest Israel move

Jesus F'ing Christ!

#2
Ungodly

Ungodly

    Has Equal Rights

  • Administrators
  • 20,828 posts
  • LocationInland Empire, California
Impeach religious fanatic morons for Jeebus.

#3
The White Coyote

The White Coyote

    Advanced Member

  • Global Moderators
  • 3,363 posts
  • LocationThe Great Northwest
Wouldn't it be great if the rapture did come and we could all get some peace and quiet. Of course about 95% of all the people who call themselves Christians would still be left but it would be kind of fun to watch them squirm.
  • Cousin Ricky likes this

#4
Abandoned_Mind

Abandoned_Mind

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 121 posts

She laughs off concerns that, for Christian Zionists, actual Jews living in Israel serve as mere props for their end-time scenario: "We have a different conception of what [the end of the world] will be like . . . Whoever is right will rejoice, and whoever was wrong will say, 'Whoops!' "


Typical.

#5
Ungodly

Ungodly

    Has Equal Rights

  • Administrators
  • 20,828 posts
  • LocationInland Empire, California
White Coyote is on to something, I think. If all the Jeebustarians went up into the clouds with their Sky Daddy the prisons would be empty, the TV Evangelist channels would be silent, and only rich people would still be calling for more wars.  It would be a real improvement.

Mmm, peace and quiet.

#6
Unbeliever

Unbeliever

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,494 posts
  • LocationCalifornia
Yeah, but according to some Christians, only 144,000 will be raptured. And besides, I seriously doubt any of those televangelists will be going anywhere with Jesus, since they're all just con artists.

#7
The White Coyote

The White Coyote

    Advanced Member

  • Global Moderators
  • 3,363 posts
  • LocationThe Great Northwest
Yesterday while driving home from work, I got behind a small older SUV. In the back window, quite prominently displayed in bold white letters was the word "ISRAEL". It struck me kind of odd so when the car pulled into a shopping center I followed. I was curious to see who was driving. An older gentleman, neatly dressed and hair trimmed and combed got out and went into the store. I couldn't resist. I followed him in. I casually tracked him through the store and to the checkout. I grabbed a pack of gum (Juicy Fruit, YUK!) to seem as if I was a shopper too and got behind him in line. His purchases consisted of; 4 cans of dog food, a pack of Winstons, a 6 pack of diet 7up and of all things, a pound package of bacon. When he left I quickly checked out and practically ran to catch up. As he got to his car I casually made the remark while pointing at the sign, "Are you from Israel?" He looked at me and looked at the sign, then back at me and said, "No. What makes you think that?" So I just mentioned that "I was curious because most people don't have large signs that display geographical locations on their vehicles."

He looked back at me and in all seriousness said, "No, I put that there to remind people that when Jesus comes that's where he will be landing."  "Landing?" I asked. "Like in a spaceship?"

"Well of course in a spaceship." He answered like I was a complete ignoramus. "How else is he going to return to Earth?"

                            " . . . . . . oh . . . . .  sure . . . of course." I answered and left.

                                "It's a strange, strange world we live in master Jack."

#8
Ungodly

Ungodly

    Has Equal Rights

  • Administrators
  • 20,828 posts
  • LocationInland Empire, California
Well, I just hope that Jesus' spaceship uses nukular power or anti-gravity beams and not these gol darn chemical rockets setups like NASA and the Russkies use. 

I  mean, who wants a flaming Jesus?  (Oh, he's so HOT!)

#9
The White Coyote

The White Coyote

    Advanced Member

  • Global Moderators
  • 3,363 posts
  • LocationThe Great Northwest
If I hadn't been so dumbfounded when this happened, I would have asked this fruitcake if that's how Jesus left the earth in the first place, and on which, star / planet / universe / etc. heaven was located. I wonder if this guys pastor knows this is what this character believes?

#10
lady

lady

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 820 posts
I don't know how he's coming back, but this is how he left..

Posted Image



#11
The White Coyote

The White Coyote

    Advanced Member

  • Global Moderators
  • 3,363 posts
  • LocationThe Great Northwest
So only half of Jesus is coming back and his bottom half will be an big amorhous blob? Now I ain't saying this is silly but, how much money was wasted on this ridiculous baloon, that could have been spent on saving peoples lives, medicine, homeles shelters etc. I have saved (Stolen) a copy of this picture and will surely send it to any charity that is a representative of the Christia faith with a note that reads, "Please contact the gentleman that owns this silly balloon. He must have lots of money to spend on christian charities."

#12
FlatEarth1024

FlatEarth1024

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 661 posts

I don't know how he's coming back, but this is how he left..

Posted Image


Is it me...or does Jesus look eerily like Barry Gibb?
Posted Image

#13
The White Coyote

The White Coyote

    Advanced Member

  • Global Moderators
  • 3,363 posts
  • LocationThe Great Northwest
Posted Image

And they have the same hobbies! Well . . Jesus walked on water and Barry . . well  . .something else!

#14
Ungodly

Ungodly

    Has Equal Rights

  • Administrators
  • 20,828 posts
  • LocationInland Empire, California

Is it me...or does Jesus look eerily like Barry Gibb?
Posted Image


Woah, that's scary!  You don't suppose the Bee Gees were actually apostles, do you?

I always thought Jesus was full of hot air.


I think there is ample evidence to support your theory.

So only half of Jesus is coming back and his bottom half will be an big amorhous blob?


Oh man, now I'll never have sex with God, oh wait, he still has the upper half.  Take it Jesus!

I don't know how he's coming back, but this is how he left..


Wow, Lady.  You had a digital camera 2,000 yearts ago?

#15
The Force

The Force

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 490 posts
  • LocationThe Final Frontier
That hot air balloon is going into my special "Pictures" folder titled "Christian Kitsch." I've already got most of the Mary sightings downloaded, a bobble-head Jeebus, and those strange action-figure Jeebuses. I like to think of it as a tribute to how low some people will go to evangelize using tacky representations in completely un-ironic ways.

Oh, and didn't the Heaven's Gate cult believe that Jeebus was coming back to take them away in a spaceship? Some lunatics believe Jeebus is an alien.

#16
jonathanlobl

jonathanlobl

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,351 posts
  • LocationJackson Heights (NYC)

Well, I just hope that Jesus' spaceship uses nukular power or anti-gravity beams and not these gol darn chemical rockets setups like NASA and the Russkies use. 

I  mean, who wants a flaming Jesus?  (Oh, he's so HOT!)

 

 

I know I'm going to regret this.

 

You mean as in -- "the second coming of Christ?"


Minister, Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic (02/20/2002)
"We don't know and we don't care."

Minister, First Church of Atheism (05/10/2008)


"Never trust the clergy!" Jonathan Lobl

#17
Ungodly

Ungodly

    Has Equal Rights

  • Administrators
  • 20,828 posts
  • LocationInland Empire, California

You mean as in -- "the second coming of Christ?"

 

Oh My, no comment.


"Weapons are the tools of violence; all decent men detest them."

--Lao Tzu

 


#18
jonathanlobl

jonathanlobl

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2,351 posts
  • LocationJackson Heights (NYC)

Oh My, no comment.

 

 

The evangelicals keep telling us to let Christ "come in our hearts."  Sounds messy, doesn't it?


Edited by jonathanlobl, 16 June 2014 - 05:51 AM.

Minister, Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic (02/20/2002)
"We don't know and we don't care."

Minister, First Church of Atheism (05/10/2008)


"Never trust the clergy!" Jonathan Lobl

#19
Joe Bloe

Joe Bloe

    Advanced Member

  • Administrators
  • 9,583 posts
  • LocationAdelaide, South Australia

Some old vinyl album covers:

 

Compiled.jpg     click to enlarge

 

 

 

That's the trouble with leading a sheltered life - they have no idea that words used in church do not always mean the same thing in the outside world.

 

Whenever a Christian is about ready to release an album they should take a mock-up of the cover into a pub and ask the drinkers for an opinion. It could save a lot of embarrassment later on.


Believe nothing you hear and only half what you see.

#20
Ungodly

Ungodly

    Has Equal Rights

  • Administrators
  • 20,828 posts
  • LocationInland Empire, California

From Salvation Mountain, the work of the late Leonard Knight.  I met Mister Knight many years ago when I drove to Salvation Mountain southwest of the Salton Sea in extreme nowhere.   It's beyond a Mexico border region vehicle inspection station, then miles off into the desert to the east.  Although we never left the US we carried our passports.

 

He was a very pleasant and likable man, extremely friendly.

 

The phrase you see in the heart was literally all over the place, even on the broken down bus he slept in.  He was a very eccentric and focused man.  Some might say he had a compulsive disorder, but I thought he was just a sweet old man who saw himself as on a mission.  Crazy possibly, but much less harmful than a fly.  

 

Salvation_Mountain.jpg


"Weapons are the tools of violence; all decent men detest them."

--Lao Tzu

 



0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users