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The Jesus Landing Pad

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31 replies to this topic

#21
Joe Bloe

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Thanks for the pic. I saved it in my folder with the album covers.


Believe nothing you hear and only half what you see.

#22
Joe Bloe

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Here's another example of a poorly chosen phrase used by a Christian:

 

 

A young lad was told not to pray at a school assembly and so he did the Christian thing, disobeyed orders, and prayed anyway.

Later he boasted about the way he had fooled everybody:
 

After the attention his act of defiance has generated Hamby said, "I would tell young Christians to be bold and always speak with gentleness and kindness, to leave the sweet taste of Christ in their mouths, allow them to want and search for more."
 
http://www.breatheca...-remarks-16419/



I love the part where he says that his kind and gentle words were designed "to leave the sweet taste of Christ in their mouths."

 

He's young. He'll learn.

 

 

 

(But I can't help laughing at his naivety.)


Believe nothing you hear and only half what you see.

#23
Ungodly

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Some will think the warnings to this youth were a form of persecution aimed at Christians, but really it is intended for people suffering from any brand of idiotic ancient superstitions.

 

So, not just Christian idiots, all idiots.   That makes it fair.  So ha ha.


"Weapons are the tools of violence; all decent men detest them."

--Lao Tzu

 


#24
jonathanlobl

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Yeah, but according to some Christians, only 144,000 will be raptured. And besides, I seriously doubt any of those televangelists will be going anywhere with Jesus, since they're all just con artists.



That would be the funny part. If there were a rapture, and the TV preachers got left behind.
Minister, Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic (02/20/2002)
"We don't know and we don't care."

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"Never trust the clergy!" Jonathan Lobl

#25
jonathanlobl

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Here's another example of a poorly chosen phrase used by a Christian:
 
 
A young lad was told not to pray at a school assembly and so he did the Christian thing, disobeyed orders, and prayed anyway.

Later he boasted about the way he had fooled everybody:
 


I love the part where he says that his kind and gentle words were designed "to leave the sweet taste of Christ in their mouths."
 
He's young. He'll learn.
 
 
 
(But I can't help laughing at his naivety.)



About leaving "the sweet taste of Christ in their mouths" -- Would that be the second coming of Christ?

Edited by jonathanlobl, 30 June 2014 - 06:21 PM.

Minister, Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic (02/20/2002)
"We don't know and we don't care."

Minister, First Church of Atheism (05/10/2008)


"Never trust the clergy!" Jonathan Lobl

#26
Cousin Ricky

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That would be the funny part. If there were a rapture, and the TV preachers got left behind.

 

O God, please rapture the televangelists, please, please, pretty please?


“Facts seem to roll off a Christian like water off a duck.” —Great Ape

“How much can you actually doubt something and still maintain that you believe it?” —Josh K, “Alpha and Omega”

“You don’t understand. My crisis of faith is over.

#27
Cousin Ricky

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Yeah, but according to some Christians, only 144,000 will be raptured. And besides, I seriously doubt any of those televangelists will be going anywhere with Jesus, since they're all just con artists.

 

That comes from Revelation 14. If they go by that interpretation, then the only people who will be raptured are Jewish virgin men. Sorry, televangelists!


“Facts seem to roll off a Christian like water off a duck.” —Great Ape

“How much can you actually doubt something and still maintain that you believe it?” —Josh K, “Alpha and Omega”

“You don’t understand. My crisis of faith is over.

#28
jonathanlobl

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O God, please rapture the televangelists, please, please, pretty please?



Getting left behind by the rapture is supposed to be part of the punishment. Leaving the preachers behind would be rubbing salt in the wounds of the rest of us. It is supposed to be an affliction. Having the preachers left behind with us would make it so.

:-)
Minister, Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic (02/20/2002)
"We don't know and we don't care."

Minister, First Church of Atheism (05/10/2008)


"Never trust the clergy!" Jonathan Lobl

#29
Ungodly

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Getting left behind by the rapture is supposed to be part of the punishment. Leaving the preachers behind would be rubbing salt in the wounds of the rest of us. It is supposed to be an affliction. Having the preachers left behind with us would make it so.

:-)

 

Of course they are among us now, so I reckon this is Hell.


"Weapons are the tools of violence; all decent men detest them."

--Lao Tzu

 


#30
jonathanlobl

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During the last big rapture "scare" a few years back; there was an interesting service for Christians. That is, people who expected to be raptures into the heavens and would be leaving their pets behind. Somebody started a pet rescue service for these Christians.

For a set fee, paid in advance, a "certified Atheist" would go to the Christian's former residence and take care of their abandoned pets.
Minister, Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic (02/20/2002)
"We don't know and we don't care."

Minister, First Church of Atheism (05/10/2008)


"Never trust the clergy!" Jonathan Lobl

#31
Ungodly

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For a set fee, paid in advance, a "certified Atheist" would go to the Christian's former residence and take care of their abandoned pets.

 

Convincing fools to freely give you money in exchange for a service you will never have to deliver, that borders on dishonesty in a way that resembles insurance.


"Weapons are the tools of violence; all decent men detest them."

--Lao Tzu

 


#32
jonathanlobl

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Convincing fools to freely give you money in exchange for a service you will never have to deliver, that borders on dishonesty in a way that resembles insurance.



A dishonest Atheist would say -- If they get raptured, they won't know what I do so I'll just take the money.

An honest Atheist would say -- if they get raptured, those poor animals will need rescue.

There is nothing dishonest or dishonorable in making a binding contract -- and living up to it -- should the situation arise.
Minister, Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic (02/20/2002)
"We don't know and we don't care."

Minister, First Church of Atheism (05/10/2008)


"Never trust the clergy!" Jonathan Lobl


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