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Lady's Bible Study

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#1
lady

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My neighbor is always going to a Bible Study Group.
I have never been to a Bible Study Group and those other guys are always telling me that I should read my Bible.  So I thought I would start a Bible Study group in this forum.  :roll:
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[size=13pt][b]FAQ about Lady

#2
The White Coyote

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In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.


1. When did this occur?
2. Time is an invention of man so what occured before the beginning?
3. Where did God come from?

Answer these for me and get right back to me on that. I'll be busy clipping my toenails.

#3
lady

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Answer these for me and get right back to me on that. I'll be busy clipping my toenails.


It seems White Coyote doesn't understand how this is to work. :snork_shot:Posted Image  Posted Image

But Lady does not give up so easily.

Job 5:2 For wrath killeth the foolish man, and envy slayeth the silly one.

Let this be a warning to others who maketh fun of Lady.  :snork_aber:

#4
Ungodly

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"... the earth abideth for ever." -- Ecclesiastes 1:4

"... the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up." -- 2Peter 3:10

#5
lady

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"... the earth abideth for ever." -- Ecclesiastes 1:4

"... the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up." -- 2Peter 3:10


Making progress...but ungodly did not leave his comments or interpretation of the verse.  How shall we learn?
Lady will have to interpret for him.
Posted Image

Don't play with matches in the forum.  :snork_aber:

#6
TopHat

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Book of Samuel
18:1  And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.
18:2  And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father's house.
18:3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.
18:4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.

20:41  And as soon as the lad was gone, David arose out of a place toward the south, and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times: and they kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded.

:o I think there be homosexual acts in the bible!

#7
Ungodly

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18:2  And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father's house.

:o I think there be homosexual acts in the bible!


Cool story.  I'm reminded of the day that my lovely husband and I met.  I took him home and informed him that he would be required to live with me thereafter.  And so it was, and still is.

Let's here it for Biblical Hero Gay Sex!

#8
Unbeliever

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Habbakuk 2:16 is rather intriguing:

Thou art filled with shame for glory: drink thou also, and let thy foreskin be uncovered: the cup of the LORD's right hand shall be turned unto thee, and shameful spewing shall be on thy glory.


Sounds like God's giving some guy a hand job!  :smt083

#9
lady

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Habbakuk 2:16 is rather intriguing:

Thou art filled with shame for glory: drink thou also, and let thy foreskin be uncovered: the cup of the LORD's right hand shall be turned unto thee, and shameful spewing shall be on thy glory.


Sounds like God's giving some guy a hand job!  :smt083


I am sure there is some mistake.  All this foreskin business.  I think you are confusing it with foreheads. :snork_aber:

Ezekiel 3: 8 Behold, I have made thy face strong against their faces, and thy forehead strong against their foreheads.

Ezekiel 9: 4 And the LORD said unto him, Go through the midst of the city, through the midst of Jerusalem, and set a mark upon the foreheads of the men that sigh and that cry for all the abominations that be done in the midst thereof.

Revalations 13: 16 And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads.

#10
The White Coyote

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clip . . .  clip . . . . clip

#11
lady

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clip . . .  clip . . . . clip


As long as you got the clippers out  :snork_lach:

Deuteronomy 21
10   

#12
The White Coyote

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I have spent WAAAYY too much time studying the bible when I was a seminary student. There is a "counterverse" for every verse, an exception to every rule and a reason or excuse for every transgression.

Fer instance, just fer you biblical study types. We have all seen Steves site "God hates crustaceons" and have made a good point that we aint suppose to eat shellfish, but the rules were changed in the New Teticalment so that it's okee dokee to eat anything that Gawd "made" I offer you Acts 10, 11-15 where the old law is cast away and the new eating rules are eat any creepy fucking thing you want.

And on and on it goes throughout the whole damn book and by the time I got done studying and asking questions I realized that you can interpret the bible anyway you want. If you wanna study the bible that's hunky dory but I am better at answering questions then I am at asking them.

#13
lady

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:Sad: OH, sorry.  I didn't mean this to be serious.  Just thought it would be silly and fun. :Sad:

#14
The White Coyote

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That's what I'm having witcha! . . . . .GOTCHA! [smilie=gt_grinz-browwiggle.gi [smilie=gt_grinz-browwiggle.gi [smilie=gt_grinz-browwiggle.gi [smilie=gt_grinz-browwiggle.gi [smilie=gt_grinz-browwiggle.gi [smilie=gt_grinz-browwiggle.gi [smilie=gt_grinz-browwiggle.gi [smilie=gt_grinz-browwiggle.gi [smilie=gt_grinz-browwiggle.gi

#15
The White Coyote

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Actually I could start at Genesis and pull down each verse one at a time but I like to study the Bible in it's absurdities rather than it's specifics. For instance Genesis 12 Gawd created grass, and plants and trees, then he created the day night thing and THEN he created the sun and moon. . . ? Um, call me stupid but does anyone here see a slight problem with timing here? How cold was the earth without the sun? Must've been those hardy Minnesota plants. And how was the light created before the sun? Hmmmm? Oh yeah Goddidit! :snork_lach:

#16
lady

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Genesis 21:6 And Sarah   LADY said, God COYOTE hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me.


Psalms 37:13  The Lord   LADY shall laugh at him COYOTE: for he seeth that his day is coming. Posted ImagePosted Image

#17
Abandoned_Mind

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JEREMIAH 3: 13  Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the LORD thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the LORD.


Sounds a lot like giftmas.

Hosea 9: 16  Ephraim is smitten, their root is dried up, they shall bear no fruit: yea, though they bring forth, yet will I slay even the beloved fruit of their womb.


Sounds like a back alley abortion.

#18
The White Coyote

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fruit of their womb.

I prefer Hanes myself. :snork_lach:

#19
The White Coyote

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Psalms 37:13  The Lord  LADY shall laugh at him COYOTE: for he seeth that his day is coming.


WHO ME? What did I do? I'm as innocent as a new born lambchop. he he he! :snork_lach:

#20
lady

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WHO ME? What did I do? I'm as innocent as a new born lambchop. he he he! :snork_lach:



How would I know what you have done? But I intend to find out.  And where else to look except in the Bible. Everyone knows you can ask a question, pick up the Bible, close your eyes, open the Bible and put your finger right on the answer.  I've done it 100's and 1000's of times.
And if you don't get quite what you are looking for, you just keep doing it until you do. Apple picking  :icon_tomato: works every time. I think 3 tries probably is enough to answer your question as to what you have done.

Here it goes.  :snork_lach:

II Peter 2:14    Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls: an heart they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed children:

Matt 5:28    But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

I John 2:16 16    For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

Pretty obvious as to what you have been up to.  :snork_kiss:


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