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Ted Haggard Now 100% Heterosexual

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10 replies to this topic

#1
Ungodly

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I am, like, so sure.

A minister that helped tend to the Re-Jeebus-ication of Ted Haggard has told the press that Ted is now 100% certain that he is completely heterosexual.

It makes sense too, when you don't think about it.  After all, aren't all men that pay other men to have sex with them straight?

And it comes right from Ted himself.  We all know what an honest man he is.  Don't we?

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#2
The Force

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Hey Ungodly, maybe we should start a betting pool on how long it will take before we hear about Teddy succumbing to another "temptation." :snork_lach:

#3
Frozenwolf150

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And in the meantime he can always whack off to nude photos of Fred Phelps and Sun Myung Moon.

#4
The White Coyote

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This reminds me of the Ron White (comediene) bit about how all men are a little bit homo. Have you guys and gals ever heard that bit? Too Funny!

#5
Unbeliever

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I got to see the Daily Show a while ago, and Jon was speculating on what method was used to straighten Haggard out. He said something to the effect of how your dad caught you smoking and made you smoke a whole carton of the things! Poor Ted!  :Wink:

#6
Ungodly

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I got to see the Daily Show a while ago, and Jon was speculating on what method was used to straighten Haggard out. He said something to the effect of how your dad caught you smoking and made you smoke a whole carton of the things! Poor Ted!  :Wink:


Mmmmm, therapy :-)

#7
The White Coyote

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But what if old Teddy boy was just faking the cure and really is a queer? Then the cure would hve been like 7th heaven for the boy . . .  Hmmmmm?

"No really doc I am totally turned off by young beautiful naked women. Just line me up with a dozen or so of them and leave me for awhile. I'll prove to you I am a homo!"

"Oh Well (sigh) failed again!" :snork_lach:

#8
Unbeliever

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Now there's another one for them to straighten out:

Ex-pastor defends acts

#9
Ungodly

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Now there's another one for them to straighten out:

Ex-pastor defends acts



I agree that this hate mongering hypocritical lying dirtbag of a Jebus preacher did have the right to solicit non-commercial sex with another adult of any old gender.  It may be illegal to solicit sex for hire, but that is a matter of law and not necessarily a moral issue.

That has no bearing on the fact that he is a lying toerag that got what he deserved.  Mmm, Schadenfreude.

#10
Unbeliever

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Some Christians are avidly looking forward to watching the infidels burn in Hell forever - now that's shadenfreude!

#11
Ungodly

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He must be a well educated young man.  Good job!


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