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Vision Quest

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#21
The White Coyote

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Sorry Storybook I guess it's hard for me to remember who is who and who knows what. I hope you don't mind me pasting this somewhat long and boring tale here but it's easier than having to explain how I got here.

I was brought up in what they now call an "Alternative religion" To us it was simply a way of life. I guess if you had to name it you could call it an Apocalyptic Indian Judeo Mysticism. (Hows that for a handle) We had many things in our belief that paralelled the Jewish and Christian faiths but the differences were so great as to make our beliefs like no other. For example our fellowship "hoykya" was comprised of many faiths all gathering together to enjoy each others company and ideas. There were christians, jews, atheists and those who followed the old ways along with a few new age types. The only commonality was our indian ancestry, our only restriction was respect for all. We would gather outside, weather permitting and the talking stick would be passed from one guest to another. Anyone who wanted to speak regardless of age or belief was invited to and we all learned and listened. No one was allowed to speak while one stood with the stick but laughter and jokes seemed to always be present. Through this listening, each of us was encouraged to form what you might call, your personal religion. I accepted the old ways with a good dash of Christianity thrown in. I would not take communion as I consider it nothing more than cannabalism. I would not accept the Judeo / Christian belief in creationism as my grandmother "Hazel Redtomahawk" said that it was just a myth and I never believed in a God as the christians do.
When I moved away from my people, I moved away from my beliefs as well. I soon found myself growing deeper and deeper in Christianity and soon I had abandoned my beliefs altogether. I studied went to college, went to seminary and soon was so unhappy that I realized something was terribly wrong.
One night as I was driving my girlfriend home I got into a terrible accident and went through the windshield of the car. At the hospital the doctors all agreed that I would not live through the night. They did not know my faith but I was wearing a cross so they sent for a priest to give me last rites or something. He performed a communion in front of me and my mother came in. She literally went on the warpath and chased the SOB out. I was taken by ambulance out of the hospital to a sweat lodge. There I was cared for by traditional means and recovered very quickly. I should have stayed but I returned to the christain ways.
Soon my family began dying. My Grandmothers both died. Then my grandfather. My uncles, my aunt and finally my parents. Within the time frame of 18 months my family had disappeared. My faith was as they say shattered. The christian God was weak and powerless. I drew away from it and went on a spirit quest into the desert. My spirit guide is the Coyote and after three days without food or water, without shelter or comforts, I saw the truth as my people see the truth. The christian god was dead. But the god of my fathers is very much alive. But there are some BIG BIG diferences in what we call God.

God is not a being, god is a verb. God is an action, creation, formation and union. God can not be spoken to as a man nor can God respond. God is a verb. God is the creation, not the creator. God is the formation, not the former. God is like a power, an energy that exists without detection or thought. God does not punish nor reward, God is "Waunka Taunka" or in the whites dialect God is energy. God did not create the sun, nor IS god the sun, god is the results brought about by the sun. The power and energy source of everything. Electricity was at one time thought to be magical and spiritual, but now we know it to be what it is. Heat and cold are both energies yet they can not be seen. God is an energy. It is as simple and as complex as that. I am very poor at explaining it. It has to be thought about. You could say "The earth was created." Or you could say "The earth was Godded." It means the same thing. So when someone says how did the universe come about? I can say quite simply, God. Basically it fits in beautifully with evolution, the forming of the planets and all else that exists. No ant farms, no religion. We give thanks for our lives, our food, our families but not to God as a figurehead, but rather as the mysterious energy that allows us life.

When I returned to my people they knew that I found what I was looking for. However my grandfather wept when he saw me for he saw the hate that Coyote left inside me. Coyotes leave nothing but the bile and that is what I have left inside my heart. The christian mythology nearly took everything from me and I will never forgive or forget. The religion of hate and revenge and death. They steal the ancient holidays and destroy our totems describing them as idols then mount a dead man nailed to a tree in their place and call it a symbol. There is nothing any christian can say or do to make up for the slaughter of my family.

So you see my friends I am not exactly a true atheist , as one might believe. I do believe in God but not as a diety. Coyote taught me that a pure heart begins with the cleansing, then you must feed your heart only those things that make it strong and just. You must reject those things, as Coyote does, that raise doubt and question and strive only for your own survival and those you love. Coyote also said that teeth must be kept sharp and muscles tuned and claws ready for there are always enemies stalking you and watching you for weakness.

Many here have read this story on other forums and I apologize to you but in order to understand my journey to being an elder and shaman of my tribe I thought it relevant to provide a history. Two years ago I was given the robe of an elder and asked three questions. If I answered them correctly I would keep the robe, wrongly and the robe would have to be returned. My status as a shaman was a gift from my mother and grandmother. A shaman is not a witch doctor or magician but rather a healer and knower of ways. My Cherokee name is actually "The White Coyote" as my skin and features are not indian. I am 3/4 cherokee and 1/4 welsh. I guess grandpa had some powerful genes. Belle, my Westy is also called the white coyote and we share the special bond of both having the Coyote as a spirit guide. I have talked enough and I am sorry for bing so long winded.

#22
Ungodly

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So you see my friends I am not exactly a true atheist , as one might believe. I do believe in God but not as a diety.


The name of this website is not meant to deny or refute the kind of things that you believe and do. The God that I deny and feel certain can not possibly exist is the woo woo Sky Daddy of Abraham that can turn bread into fishes with a magic wand.

The God that you describe appeals to me in a powerful way.  While I might not choose the same exact words as you do to explain how we are here, and what we ought to do, there is nothing you say or believe that is actually contrary to my own beliefs.  Some might say that you are a pantheist.

What you call God I might choose to call The Universe.  Where you see God acting as a verb, I see the laws of physics that we only partially understand so far.  But we both share a powerful sense of reverence for the experience of being.

You mentioned recently when I was having my little hissy fit that we have had very different life experiences, and that is true. And you mentioned how we have a powerful friendship despite these differences, and that is also true.  I think maybe what we have most importantly in common is the shared conviction that what is right and what is wrong is plainly evident to anyone not wearing blinders.  Because of this, we seem to agree on what is just and what is unjust.  It's just obvious, I believe, to both of us.

Many here have read this story on other forums and I apologize to you but in order to understand my journey to being an elder and shaman of my tribe I thought it relevant to provide a history.


Your message is exactly why this forum is here.  Your apology has been respectfully returned unopened, as it was not required.

#23
The White Coyote

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It's just obvious, I believe, to both of us.


Obvious indeed my friend. Thanks.

#24
The White Coyote

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I'd like to hear more about you as a healer, when/if you feel comfortable talking about that.


Storybook, what would you like to know? mental / physical / or spiritual?

#25
Storybook

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Storybook, what would you like to know? mental / physical / or spiritual?


Healing physical conditions, particularly the ones doctors don't know how to treat.

#26
The White Coyote

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Healing physical conditions, particularly the ones doctors don't know how to treat.


Oh my! That's a little bit broad for me. But I can give a somewhat broad answer too. American indians have long known the healing powers of heat and cold and fasting. Most every muscle or surface injury can be treated with applied cold compresses or soaking. The duration of most ailments that create a fever can be shortened by allowing the body to heat up right up to the point of hallucinations. After that, serious brain damage can occur. For ailments of the stomach or torso a  fast is always a good start and the drinking of sage tea and aromatics can help relieve nausea and cramps. These are very general and would be considered typical home remedys in an indian household. If you could give me specifics I could be more specific. Some of the things I keep in my medicine bag are;

cascara bark for bowel troubles (It makes ex-lax a chocolate candy.)
sage used for the smoke to clear up congestion and for tea
rose hips for tea
salt for wounds (yes it hurts)
mint leaves for congestion and tea
mustard (you don't want to know)
potato for eye trouble
flax seed for something in the eye
ear candles

What kind of ailments are we talking about? (If it's too personal you could always PM me)

#27
TopHat

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Coyote, your statement reminds me of something I read in the first chapter of The God Delusion. Well two things more precisely.

One hears it said that 'God is the ultimate' or 'God is our better nature' or 'God is the universe.' Of course, like any other word, the word 'God' can be given any meaning we like. If you want to say that 'God is energy,' then you can find God in a lump of coal.



Pantheism is sexed-up atheism.



I have no real response to it. It just reminded me of you, I read your story, of what happened with your family. That must be one of the roughest things you have faced. You are a strong person in my eyes.

#28
The Force

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The description of White Coyote's heritage and his peoples' beliefs just bring into stark contrast the difference between the major patriarchal religions and truly mature, wise and informed worldviews often found in older cultures. It's like comparing apples to oranges; there's no contest.

The christian mythology nearly took everything from me and I will never forgive or forget. The religion of hate and revenge and death. They steal the ancient holidays and destroy our totems describing them as idols then mount a dead man nailed to a tree in their place and call it a symbol. There is nothing any christian can say or do to make up for the slaughter of my family.


Reading your story just further cemented my firm belief that kristianity and islam are disgusting, childish belief systems that have only the power to destroy everything that is good about the human race. Whether it's brainwashing little kids into mortal fear of hellfire, or persecuting minority populations for being different, or the blatant, unapologetic worship of death and sadism, I can't emphasize enough how little respect for these foolish religions and their followers I have.

WC, I'm glad you're here to provide different perspectives on things. It gets me out of my little mental shell and makes me consider other viewpoints on topics I thought I had a handle on. You are a much spiritually stronger person than any kristian.

#29
The White Coyote

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Pantheism is sexed-up atheism.

I like this! It sounds like something an old friend of mine would have said.

I read your story, of what happened with your family. That must be one of the roughest things you have faced. You are a strong person in my eyes.


I called it "The Burning Times" It was much of the subject of the novel I told you I wrote many years ago. I may be stronger for what happened but my strength is nothing compared to our friend Steve who had to live through the death of a child. There is no comparison.

Thanks Force for your kind words. It was very strange how I watched the Christian God die before my eyes. It was not a cataclysmic event, not an epiphany or even an event at all. It was like watching a beaten man walk away from a fight, his head hung low, his arms drooping at his sides. I prayed for hours, days and weeks and still I watched as my entire world crumbled. I watched as my marriage failed, my family died and I lost the only career I ever loved . I lost my house, all my belongings and nearly my life. I prayed so hard and begged God for some relief but everything just continued to spiral downwards. Finally when I hit rock bottom I resorted to my last chance. To return to the faith of my fathers and follow my spirit guide. Once I began to face life as the Coyote, things began to turn around. Coyotes are survivors and can live in places where nothing else can. They are aggressive, cunning and determined and once I put away my self pity and quit asking a dead God for help, I became self aware and self reliant. Coyotes can live off of anything and don't need any sky daddy boogeyman to help them out of a jam. Once a person knows their spirit guide and listens to it's heart, their life becomes so much more planted and firm. Having said that let me explain that a spirit guide is typically an animal or bird that best personifys that persons inner personality. We all have one regardless of your race, sex, color or social status. The problem comes when we get so far removed from our natural path (that of our spirit guide) that we forget how to behave or act as our inner heart is telling us. Then we end up all politically correct, miserable, holding back your true feelings and not acting in our natural way. That is why I go on vision quests. To get back to the essential and necessary part of life so that I don't fall back on being a worrying, guilt ridden, snivveling coward that needs some sort of religious crutch to hold them up everytime they make a mistake. You know what a Coyote does when they make a mistake? Nothing, they just keep going. No guilt, no regret, no worry. Just learn from it and go on.

I am sorry to go on s but I get excited when I talk about these things. You have to understand that there was a time that I was actually studying to be a pastor. I was as Christian as they came. I believed if God said it that it was true. No doubts. No questions. If I didn't understand why God killed a bunch of children or slaughtered innocents, it was because I didn't and couldn't understand the mind of God. So, for me to have come this far and to realize the truth in such an elementary way as watching animal behaviors and basing my life on that study is quite a stretch.

My mother was a christian yet she was also a shaman and a Cherokee and when she was dying she gave to me a little plaque that reads: "God forbid, that I should go to a heaven in which there is no horses." t took me awhile but I finally realized that although she was a christian, if her eternity did not include those things she held most dear, then she would rather just be dust. That's Waunka Taunka 1, Jesus 0

#30
The White Coyote

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Neuropathy involving peripheral nerves.


My formal medical knowledge aint so good Storybook, can you give this to me in laymans terms?

#31
The White Coyote

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I suffer from trigemenal neuritis myself and the only natural treatment I know of that helps is hot, HOT tea, but the pain is in my face so it is the heat not the tea that actually does the work. On the modern side I take Tegretol once a day and it keeps it well under control.

There are uh . . shall we say, other natural remedies that are very good for nerve pain but they are slightly under the radar. There may be someone who could PM you how to obtain these natural cactus plants if you really wanted to try them. [smilie=whistle.gif]


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