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Now we can all smell like God!

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20 replies to this topic

#1
Lacy

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A new fragrance called "Virtue". This is a funny article and the actual site for the fragrance is funny. It's the scent of the bible! :snork_lach:

http://www.send2pres...0403-003.shtml 

#2
Ungodly

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I'm reminded of a famous quotation from PT Barnum.  With the growth in human population there may be 2 or 3 born every minute these days.

I always wondered if Jesus' shit stunk, maybe it smelled as virtuous as this shit does.

#3
The White Coyote

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Virtue®'s subtle blend includes top notes of apricot, pomegranate and fig



Sounds delicious. Also sounds like it would attract bees which I love to chase and snap at. Personally I prefer Aue'de Terrier. a scent found by rolling on disgusting dead things found in the back yard.

                                                                                      Belle

#4
Lacy

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I'm reminded of a famous quotation from PT Barnum.  With the growth in human population there may be 2 or 3 born every minute these days.
I always wondered if Jesus' shit stunk, maybe it smelled as virtuous as this shit does.


Indeed. It's funny because there are people that will buy stupid things like that.

#5
Unbeliever

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"Creating Virtue® has been an adventurous journey through fragrance and scripture, with remarkable miracles confirming our choices."

Wouldn't any miracle at all be considered "remarkable"?

There is in the Bible a sacred oil or perfume that is only supposed to be used by the priests, and if anyone else makes it or uses it they're to be stoned to death - or maybe they'll just get stoned, I'm not sure.

#6
Ungodly

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You know Saint Stephen was the first Christian to get stoned.

#7
Unbeliever

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I guess anyone could see Jesus if they got stoned enough!

#8
The White Coyote

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You know Saint Stephen was the first Christian to get stoned.


I think Stephen was the patron saint of homos and garbage truck drivers. Or was that Saint Oscar? :snork_lach:

#9
Ungodly

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Your confused, my friend. Saint Oscar was the patron saint of grouchy children's educational TV characters.

I don't drive the garbage, I just post it online.  Stinky anti-religimous garbage the makes the Baby Jesus cry pleasantly fragrant tears.

Did you know that if you add just one Baby Jesus tear to a 55 gallon drum of perfume base and Ambergris you can get over 2 ounces of fragrance!

#10
lady

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THE GOD SMELL


[center]
If I could smell like God just now and then
If I could smell like God it

#11
Storybook

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THE GOD SMELL


That's our Lady! :Happy:

#12
The White Coyote

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Back in old testicle times the priests would throw big chunks of fatted meat on the burning altars to produce a smell pleasing to the lord. So what's that tell you about gods sense of smell? Shit, just slap on a couple of Whoppers and you're good to go! :snork_lach:

#13
Ungodly

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Yeah, but Whoppers don't come with the Special Sauce that you can only get on a Big Mac!  I think we might be looking at a schism here.  Pretty soon the Faithful That Wear Big Macs might have to declare a fatwah against the Faithful That Wear Whoppers.

Then of course there is the Colonel's secret blend of herbs and spices to consider.  I know that whenever I want to brutally rip the flesh from the dead carcass of a small bird that was forced to live it's entire life in a 10 inch high metal cage, I always go for the Colonel's secret blend (sugar, salt, black pepper).

And what about poor old Emeril Lagasse? Bam!  Have you considered the fact that pork fat is a love thing?  Oh wait, we were talking about Yahweh.  Kill the bacon lovers! Kill, kill, kill.  God wants to smell burnt dead bodies!  Must kill Emeril!!!!!

#14
FlatEarth1024

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Not to be outdone, Ralph Lauren has just released his own divine fragrance - JESUS.  Check out this stylish retro commercial complete with 70's style voice-over.  Just dab on a little Jesus, and you'll be surrounded by angels!

http://www.youtube.com/v/Jraz_WaMtzM

#15
Ungodly

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Excellent!!!  I gonna git me sum o' that Jesus!

#16
The White Coyote

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I thought all angels were eunichs or sexless or some horseshit like that. Just my luck I'd buy me a quart of Jesus cologne, slap it on, and be surrounded by a bunch of Victorias Secret models without the goods (if you know what I mean) :snork_lach:

#17
Unbeliever

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Back in old testicle times the priests would throw big chunks of fatted meat on the burning altars to produce a smell pleasing to the lord. So what's that tell you about gods sense of smell? Shit, just slap on a couple of Whoppers and you're good to go! :snork_lach:


Hell, he'd probably love Sizzler - oh, except for the all-you-can-eat shrimp special.

#18
Unbeliever

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Dang, FE, did you make that vid? Reminds me of some of your work, very well made. Is that a spoof, or does that Jesus shit actually exist?

#19
Ungodly

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I'm sure that was a Flat Earth Video narrated by his own self.

#20
FlatEarth1024

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Man...if I ever get a few bucks ahead and can get a halfway decent video editing program (instead of crappy Windows Movie Maker :icon_frown:) I could make stuff like this all the time.

....in the service of the lord, of course.


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