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Advice needed about little girls. NOW!
Posted 09 April 2007 - 08:20 PM
Posted 09 April 2007 - 08:43 PM
Re holding her hand...avoid ALL physical contact in public for the same reasons as above. You see a baby, she sees a grampa. Mr and Mrs John Q see a sicko and his innocent victim. Granted, your relationship with her will probably never be questioned, but if it is it will lead to all kinds of uncomfortable and tense exchanges.
What if you get pulled over 3 exits from the stadium? "License and registration please, sir. Who's the girl?" "Ummm..well...you see officer..." Who needs that? You need a female adult with you at the very least, one of her parents optimally. Otherwise, you could end up opening a can of worms that will be a bitch on wheels to try and close again. Like you said, what if you have to go to the head? You come out and she's gone. That's on you. You want that?
Sad to say, but that's our world. Nobody but you knows you mean no harm. If I'm standing behind you in the hot dog line and I realize you are not related to her, I'm getting security.
Posted 09 April 2007 - 09:56 PM
Second: As for what to do with her--it sounds like you already have a good friendship. Consider your little field trip an extension of your daily visits. Since she asked you to take her to a ball game, she's probably interested in the sport. Ask her why she wanted to see a real game. Does she play? Tell her about the first time you saw a live game (or is this YOUR first, too?). You don't have to fill every moment with conversation--it will mean the world to her that you're spending time with her.
As for the bathroom, I suggest you go before you leave for the game. Don't drink anything to avoid having to leave her alone. If she has to go, go with her and wait outside with all the other men. I don't really have any advice about what to do if you can't avoid having to go. Maybe some other grandparent out there will know.
You don't have to tell us, but think about the reasons she might be spending so much time at your store. Does she have an abusive home life that she doesn't like to go home to? Did she recently lose a grandparent? I strongly suggest that you seek out a local mentor program (like Big Brothers Big Sisters, although I don't think they would ever match an adult male with a minor female) to see about both of you becoming a part of a program. Her guardians will have to give their permission, and the mentor program can give you lots of advice on appropriate activities and behaviors for your visits.
Posted 10 April 2007 - 05:54 AM
Don't take this child without someone legally responsible for her telling you it is OK. And if you have to go to the restroom find an adult woman to keep an eye on the child, anyone you might ask is going to agree to help.
Posted 10 April 2007 - 06:09 AM
As far as safety issues I would not hesitate to say that while in my care, she will be safer than she has ever been in her life. I didn't come out of my background not knowing how to take care of business, if you know what I mean? I'm going to give her a mini walky-talky so anytime we may find ourselves out of sight of each other we will still have contact. I've talked with her father many, many times and he knows my background and I am sure he and his wife are very comfortable with everything.
These issues are a concern but not a priority. My point is I am going to spend an entire day with a little girl and I have never done that! I don't need advice on how to keep her safe and alive, that's my entire lifes training, my need is much more basic. How do I make sure she has a wonderful time at the ballpark and we have a great day?
Posted 10 April 2007 - 06:59 AM
1) Get her to talk about her life, be it school, friends, whatever. Get her to go into more detail.
2) Give her some advice. In the next few years she and all of her friends will suddenly become vicious and catty with each other. Tell her never to tell her friends her secrets, and never to speak poorly of others. These two tricks will reduce the misery until she and her friends become human again around 13 or 14 years of age.
3) Talk about food, everybody likes food.
Posted 10 April 2007 - 09:18 AM
Posted 10 April 2007 - 09:30 AM
Since she asked you to go to the game, I guess the most pertinent question is, what do you know about baseball in general and the Mariners (I assume them, right?) in particular? I'm assuming she is a fan and will know info about the players such as stats and/or what team they used to play for. The day will be much more enjoyable if you can converse intelligently about the game. I remember as a kid going to a game with my uncle. It was the longest 3 hours of my life. He may as well have brought a book...and he might have. Half the fun of going to a game is talking it up.
Also, if you know anything about her interests or strong suit in school, file that away to use when things get slow. When the awkward silence sets in, nothing saves a dying afternoon better than "So...mom says you're trying out for the band..." or what not. That will take the conversation down a whole new road.
Find out what she is and is not allowed to eat. Remember, kids are inherently evil! She'll talk you into letting her have hot dogs, candy and ice cream or whatever, and if her parents don't have it in the house you'll be an unwitting accessory to her deviousness.
The only other thing I can think of is...you say she looks at you like a grandpa? Then that's how you act. Imagine the day with your own grandchild and prepare yourself in that way. Your kid(s) were small once. Lean on your experiences to get you through.
I'm sure the day will go much more smoothly than you imagine. Have fun.
Posted 10 April 2007 - 09:39 AM
Posted 10 April 2007 - 11:55 AM
This discussion does remind us that there are people out there that will take advantage of others..young or old. There really are old men acting like grandpas but intending something else. I hope that all of us do remain vigilant and if we do see something suspicious that we would report it.
Posted 10 April 2007 - 04:34 PM
As you can see I look about as natural with a little girl as a pumpkin in the ocean. My wife labled this picture "Take her away. Go ahead and see what happens."
Posted 10 April 2007 - 05:19 PM
White Coyote, that is the sweetest picture!!!
Well part of it is sweet. The big ugly mudsucker (that would be me) aint so sweet.
Thanks for the tip Godless.
Posted 10 April 2007 - 05:23 PM
But you can be her safe harbor, offer yourself as the sole repository for her secrets. This will create a bond that will last a long time. And if she tells you her secrets instead of those brats in her class she'll have much less trouble in middle school.
Now if it were myself she was befriending we could exchange notes on which guys are cute, but that would be a bit more of a stretch for you.
Posted 10 April 2007 - 05:34 PM
Posted 10 April 2007 - 06:17 PM
Posted 10 April 2007 - 07:29 PM
Posted 10 April 2007 - 07:41 PM
... so should I just wait outside the ladies room for her and ask her to wait outside the mens room for me or what?
This sounds like a good plan.
Every man has his Achilles heal, and mine is young women and little girls. This is my curse, I can't say no.
You're just such a cuddly old grump, not that I want to cuddle you, like no way, just, well you are Grinchlike sometimes and other times you're like Big Bird.
Posted 10 April 2007 - 07:51 PM
You're just such a cuddly old grump,
FQ You crazy old queer.
Posted 10 April 2007 - 07:57 PM
I know, I try real hard to act old and grumpy but once they start batting those long eyelashes and looking at me with their big sad eyes you could pick me up with a blotter. That's always been my biggest problem. I attract the little ones and the old ones, but all those ones in the middle who I would like to get to know, will have nothing to do with me!
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