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Fun With Logic!!

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#1
Frozenwolf150

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Okay, I don't know what possessed me to browse over to the churchvoices.com website, but I suppose I was just curious to see if they were still up.  For those of you who don't know, they're the collective of assholes who "invaded" the former christianburner.com forums back in '05, thinking that they could stick it to a few atheists with their idiotic "proofs" for God's existence and their postmodernist rhetoric.  Nearly every single one of those motherfuckers loves to speak as though they've got 2 PhDs, as if that makes them superior to everyone else, even though the actual content of their arguments is the same retarded bullshit you could hear from any given fundy.

On their main page, they have a link to Apologetics, which as you would expect, contain articles on these very same "proofs" that God exists.  One thing I've learned since my encounter with fuckheads like these is that, no matter how professionally they try to dress up their bullshit, it's still bullshit at the end of the day.  To claim that you can definitively prove the existence of God is to take a religiously bigoted stance, and isn't too far off from racism as far as supremacist ideas go.  To act as though it's your God-given right to spread your brand of Christianity to others is no different from fascism.  If people wanted to ruin their lives with your religion, they'd come to you.  It's simple common sense.

Rather than wasting time posting a bunch of long drawn-out essays to debunk these arguments for the existence of God, I'd rather dispense with them quickly with the following:

Okay assholes, let's pretend that life / the world / the universe was designed.  So what?  Your God still doesn't exist!!  Proving a designer is a far cry from proving the existence of a deity, let alone proving that it is your god specifically.  These arguments lend no validity one way or another to Christianity, and certainly don't justify fundamentalist Protestantism in the least.

Now that that's out of the way, here's my "Fun With Logic" sketch, which I may have posted before.  If fundies can take such liberties with the basic rules of logic, then so should everyone else be able to.

I had started on this a while ago.  It is intended to satirize the leaps of logic that theists often make, to mock the banality of their arguments, and to demonstrate the unforeseen consequences of their conclusions.

The Argument From Shit (courtesy of infidels.org)

1. If God were omnipotent he

#2
Ungodly

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I especially liked The Passion.  It twists the twisted thoughts of the twisted.

I'm too low on caffeine right now to add any more.

#3
The Force

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Stupid Designer
1. God created humans in his image.

2. Christians claim that God is perfect.

3. Humans suffer from diseases of biological imperfection, such as cancer, arthritis, and senescence (diseases easily explained by evolutionary life history!).

4. Therefore, God is imperfect, and a bloody incompetent designer at that!

My cell biology professor stood up in front of my class one bright autumn day last year and announced that a mechanical/chemical engineer could better design some of the metabolic processes that go on in our cells, because they're so inefficient! :snork_lach:

Infanticidal Maniac God
1. God created mosquitos, helminth parasites, bacteria and viruses, all of which cause disease.

2. Christians claim that God wuvs babies, and is anti-choice, and would never condone abortion ever.

3. Hundreds of millions of people die each year from disease- foodborne, vectorborne, waterborne, and airborne. Many are infants and children, as well as their mothers.

4. Therefore God is a raging serial killer asshole who loves killing babies and the women who bear them.

#4
Ungodly

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Homo God

1. God created me in his image
2. I'm a homo
3. God is a homo

Gee, I wonder if he is cute?  Some guys have perfectly horizontal shoulders, WOOF!


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